It’s common these days for people to purchase economy cars. It’s natural to want to save a few dollars on gas. I understand that. I own a Volkswagen Golf, so I’m sympathetic. That’s the reason when I rent a car, I go the opposite route. I want luxury. I want size and speed, a gas guzzler, all the things my car isn’t. That’s why I’m so perplexed by tiny rental cars.
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“Any particular size you’re looking for?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact. Do you have anything in eunuch?”
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“Roger that.” I imagine someone with large, horn-rimmed glasses and a NASA fetish. “I’ll pick it up tomorrow after my pedicure and eyebrow threading.”
So disappointing. What’s wrong with these people? Get those low emission, electric drives out of here. The only positive aspect is that I feel pretty darn macho when I see one of these cars approaching. The other day one was cruising through my neighborhood. As it passed, I yelled out the window in the spirit of good, old-fashioned ridicule: “Get a gas guzzler!”
The poor guy looked embarrassed. He shrugged his shoulders and averted his eyes. Who can blame him? Conspicuous consumption is the American way. What’s this nation coming to?
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