Tail-Walkers
Can I not even enjoy the simple pleasure of walking alone on the sidewalk unmolested? Can I not relish the happiness of having a small patch of concrete to inhabit alone as I meander down the street? Is even that … Continued
Worst Case Scenario: I’d Want You to Be Miserable
So-and-so remarried recently. We couldn’t blame him, my wife and I, but it was odd to think of him without his first wife, God rest her soul. Terrible situation. We didn’t blame him for wanting to remarry. In this worst … Continued
Swing Techniques of a Master Pusher
The other day, my daughter Colleen said those few words every parent both prays for and dreads: “I can do it myself, Daddy.” White clouds feathered across a pale blue sky. Under the shade of a sturdy pin oak, I … Continued
The Lunch-stapo
“’Vi are ‘ze Lunch-stapo, ‘und you ‘vill open your lunchbox now.” The state’s jackbooted lunch inspector towered over my five year old daughter. She didn’t know what to do. Fear slank into her eyes. She looked towards me, but for … Continued
The Awkward Spiral: How to Ruin Your Relationship with Your New Neighbors
We’re standing at the front windows, looking out past the lawn, past the mailbox, and across the street, at the home of one of our neighbors. We just moved to a new neighborhood, and already my flaws have caused a … Continued