Coupons

It wasn’t that long ago, but I remember it well. My life was normal. I was happy. Everything was fine. I had no problems whatsoever. The world was my oyster, and I had nothing to fear. It was a good feeling. I could have gone on like that forever and would have liked to, but someone had to ruin it. Someone always has to ruin it.

My dilemma began the instant I received the coupon. That’s right, a simple piece of paper – a tiny piece of paper with a discount towards a meal at a local restaurant. On the surface, it seemed innocent enough. I like discounts. I like the restaurant. The only problem with this coupon is that it had a time limit. Now, if I don’t get down to Big Bob’s Barbecue Hut in the next three months, I’m going to miss out on a free plate of Irish nachos – assuming I order an entrée that’s fifteen dollars or more, of course.

Thanks to this miniature scrap of venom, I now have an enormous weight hanging over my head. For the next three months, I have to live my life knowing that if I don’t use this coupon I’m going to miss out on deep-fried potato slices, jalapeño’s, shredded cheddar cheese, and a healthy dollop of sour cream. Avocado is extra. The impending deadline threatens me with the loss of all this tasty goodness. I can barely sleep.

Why do this to me? I feel like I’m under a death sentence: appetizer row. The countdown’s started. The pressure’s killing me. What’s wrong with these people? If I don’t use the coupon, all I’ll have left is a worthless piece of paper. It might exist blissfully in my wallet for weeks before I remember it’s there, or I might leave it in a drawer with other hapless coupons and forget about it completely. I curse the day it arrived. It’s a disaster!

What about you? Are you living under the threat of coupon termination?