1 Jan 2019

Proper Placemat Design

by | posted in: Humor | 17

Why am I spending so much time thinking about proper placemat design?

What cartoon anvil dropped on my head and forced me to stumble around in a dizzy-dazzy haze, contemplating the merits of vinyl and tropical palm versus cotton embroidery?

I have about five thousand better things to do with my time than think about placemat design, including breathing, staring off into space, and drooling on my pillow. Then again, I’ve also spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about plates.

Placemats? Who designs these things anyway? Share on X

But placemats?  Somehow placemats have gnawed their way into my consciousness, like rodents nibbling the ornamental tassels off my sofa pillows.

A Placemat? Really?
A Placemat? Really?

Knit One Purl Two

My placemat passion kindled one night while I was staring at a stitched mat whose crocheted crustiness would forever remind me of my wife’s pasta sauce.  Tomato had stained the fabric and embedded itself into each stitch.  This marinara smudge would never come out.

The world has gone placemat crazy.

Another Crocheted Placemat
This one too?

Kiddie Designs?

All I want is something plastic, optionally with some modest artwork on it.  My daughter’s has “Hello Kitty.”  I could live with that.  That, or Pikachu.  Or Bugs Bunny.  Or Jessica Rabbit.  I don’t know.  Take your pick.

I’ve always needed something to catch the slop that slips out of my mouth.  My friends used to say I needed a trough and not a plate.  Just throw in some old apple cores and the scrapings from the previous night’s dinner, and I’d be happy.

My Fault?

Maybe it’s my fault?  I should stop pretending to be civilized.  Why keep up the pretense?  Who needs a placemat anyway?  Sign me up for the slop bowl, give me a bib, and let me wallow.

Here’s to a messy 2019.

 

Follow Robert:

Latest posts from

17 Responses

  2. Nine Casino Lizenz
    | Reply

    Denn im Spielcasino Neubrandenburg gibt es eine Multi Roulette Anlage.
    Das Spielcasino in Neubrandenburg ist ein reines Automatencasino, das über viele Spielautomaten verfügt, allerdings mit einer sehr
    extravaganten Aufmachung und in einem komplett modernen Stil.
    Stattdessen setzt der Betreiber auf Automatenspiele, unter
    anderem auf Grund der hohen Personalkosten, die ansonsten entstehen würden. Dies zeigt das Engagement des Casinos, nicht nur als Ort für
    Glücksspiele, sondern auch als ein Zentrum der Unterhaltung und Innovation zu
    fungieren. Im Herzen des Spielangebots des LV Casinos stehen die
    Slots, die mit insgesamt 195 Spielautomaten, darunter 16 Roulette-Slots und 8 Automaten für das automatische Roulette, eine beeindruckende Vielfalt bieten​​.
    Das LV Casino in Liechtenstein präsentiert sich als ein Zentrum der Unterhaltung und des
    Glücksspiels, das eine breite Palette an Spielmöglichkeiten für Besucher aller Erfahrungsstufen bietet.

    Wenn Heiligabend auf einen Sonntag fällt,
    wie zum Beispiel 2017, gelten natürlich zusätzlich noch etwaige Sperrzeiten für Sonntage, zum Beispiele während
    der Gottesdienste. Und manche Länder verbieten es komplett, dass Spielhallen Heiligabend
    geöffnet sind. Dezember im Gegensatz zu Weihnachten kein gesetzlicher Feiertag ist, haben viele Bundesländer mit gesetzlichen Regelungen dafür gesorgt, dass Spielhallen Heiligabend geschlossen sind.
    Mit Ausnahme von Schleswig-Holstein und NRW (erst ab 18 Uhr auf) haben Spielhallen Totensonntag geschlossen.
    Reine Casinos und Spielhallen müssen jeden Tag mindestens sechs
    Stunden geschlossen haben. Die Feiertagen, an denen Spielhallen in Berlin komplett geschlossen bleiben müssen, könnt Ihr an einer Hand abzählen.
    Wenig verwunderlich ist, dass es im christlichen Bayern eine Vielzahl von Feiertagen gibt,
    an denen Casinospiele verboten sind. Weiter unten stellen wir
    Euch außerdem Spielhallen Alternativen vor, falls die
    Spielothek heute geschlossen hat. Inzwischen sind Spielotheken nur noch
    Bremen, Berlin und Mecklenburg-Vorpommern geschlossen.

    References:
    https://online-spielhallen.de/umfassende-robocat-casino-erfahrungen-ein-detaillierter-bericht/

  3. 500 casino bonus
    | Reply

    Viele Online-Casinos mit einem No-Deposit-Bonus bieten Gratis-Prämien als Dankeschön für die Installation ihrer
    Echtgeld-App. Deshalb ist in vielen Fällen eine
    Gutschrift eines Bonusangebots ohne Einzahlung erst nach einer Verifizierung möglich.
    Dieser Mindestumsatz ist bei Gratis-Boni oftmals höher
    als bei Einzahlungsboni.
    Freispiele ohne Einzahlung sind der Klassiker.
    Jetzt können Sie den Bonus ohne Einzahlung im Echtgeld Casino
    mit bester Auszahlung in Ruhe ausprobieren, und das
    ohne eigene Geldeinlage. Damit Sie wirklich verstehen, wie der no deposit Bonus im
    Online-Casino funktioniert, habe ich meine Erfahrungen und Tipps
    in einem kleinen Guide zusammengefasst.
    Was Du bei Freispiele ohne Einzahlung beachten solltest sind die Umsatzbedingungen. Gratis
    Freispiele ohne Einzahlung ermöglichen Dir die Benutzeroberfläche zu
    testen um herauszufinden ob das Online Casino deinen Benutzeranforderungen entspricht.
    Dies ist eine tolle Möglichkeit neue Online Spielotheken gratis zu testen. Wenn Du Dich bei Online Casinos
    anmeldest, bekommst Du häufig einen Bonus ohne Einzahlung als Freispiele ohne Einzahlung geschenkt.

    References:
    https://online-spielhallen.de/pistolo-casino-auszahlung-ihr-umfassender-leitfaden/

  4. locowin freispiele anleitung
    | Reply

    Der Architekt Oscar Niemeyer hat das Hotel mit funktionellen Zimmern und beeindruckenden öffentlichen Bereichen kreiert.

    Die Koffer werden Ihnen auf das Zimmer gebracht und der
    freundliche Empfang serviert Ihnen einen Drink.
    Nehmen Sie von hier aus die Seilbahn in Richtung Igreja do Monte mit den herrlichen Gärten und einem atemberaubenden Ausblick.
    Falls Sie die Insel lieber im Juni besuchen, können Sie ebenfalls im Rahmen des „Festival
    do Atlântico” atemberaubende Feuerwerke erleben. Im April und Mai findet auf der Insel das medienträchtige Blumenfest „Festa da Flor”
    mit seinen üppigen Blumenteppichen sowie zahlreichen Ausstellungen und Darbietungen statt.
    Familie, Singles mit Kind, Singles, Wellnessreisende
    Dieses komfortable Hotel bietet ausgezeichnete Möglichkeiten um vom
    Alltag zu entfliehen.
    Mit großen Fenstern, die natürliches Licht hereinlassen, bietet es eine belebende und komfortable Umgebung.
    Das Fitnessraum ist vollständig mit Cardio- und Krafttrainingsgeräten ausgestattet und bietet einen idealen Raum
    zum Trainieren. Während Ihres Aufenthalts im Pestana Casino Studios
    bleiben Sie im modernen Fitnessraum im Pestana Casino Park, nur wenige Schritte von Ihrer Unterkunft entfernt, in Form.

    References:
    https://online-spielhallen.de/1go-casino-mobile-app-dein-umfassender-spielpartner/

  5. Best themed hotels in Vegas
    | Reply

    The allure of progressive jackpots lies in their transformative potential, each spin a roll of the dice in the grand casino of fate.
    And then, there are the progressive jackpots, the titans of the
    slot world, with prize pools that grow with every play until they’re unleashed in a torrent of
    coins. The Return to Player (RTP) rate is an important figure
    in this world, a number that represents the potential payback of a game
    over time.
    Welcome to CasinoScout.io, your number 1 gambling guide to the top online casinos that accept Australian players.
    These online casino table games suit players
    who prefer strategy over chance, with blackjack and baccarat offering some of the
    highest payout rates. They’re great for players who
    don’t trust crypto or prefer linking to their bank.However, withdrawals can take days, and banks may flag gambling transactions.Many
    best online casinos like King Johnnie let you mix and match.
    I’m visiting a Melbourne café in Australia, scrolling through my phone, trying to find the best online casinos for real money play.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/current-location-site-singapore-gambling-guide/

  6. Casino VIP programs
    | Reply

    Remote desktop technology allows you to access and
    control a computer from a different location, viewing its screen and interacting with it as if you were sitting in front of it.

    Detailed logging supports regulatory compliance while reducing operational disruptions.
    Important files remain accessible during travel while complicated tasks turn into simple processes.

    Define permissions and ensure only authorized users
    can establish remote connections, enhancing security for businesses
    of all sizes. Yes, Microsoft Remote Desktop Protocol (RDP) is a free remote access tool, but it requires complex network setups and lacks TeamViewer’s ease of
    use and security. TeamViewer remains committed to maintaining this PC to PC remote access free
    of charge while providing premium options for businesses and power users who require additional features.
    Simply launch the software, enter your partner ID on a device
    you want to access, and get instant access to your remote device.

    TeamViewer fulfills a wide range of remote support needs while improving productivity and maintaining connectivity for users across all industries and organizational sizes.
    “In order to be able to react quickly, we needed a remote access solution that, in addition to the usual Windows PCs at the workstations, also supported iOS of the latest generation, and in particular our app.” Whether you’re troubleshooting technical issues or managing business
    operations remotely, our software provides a seamless and
    secure connection. TeamViewer is designed for a variety of use cases, including IT
    support, remote work, customer service, and embedded device management.
    From enterprise operations to IT support, TeamViewer is your trusted choice for secure, scalable, and intelligent
    remote access. The built-in Windows tool requires significant configuration, poses potential security concerns when exposed to
    the internet, and doesn’t offer native support for connecting to macOS, Android, or iOS devices.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/win-up-to-1000-200-free-spins-at-winshark-casino/

  7. Fast payout online casino Australia
    | Reply

    The platform gives you control, not excuses – and that’s how it
    should be. Fair Go Casino online doesn’t bury these options in weird places.

    That’s why Fair Go Casino online locks everything behind SSL encryption, the same stuff
    banks use.
    Fair Go Casino runs a slick mobile experience that mirrors
    desktop layouts. Returning players can jump straight into fresh picks
    without digging through dated menus. It’s a wild world of reels, tables,
    jackpots, and mini bonuses. Fair Go Casino keeps
    access simple, then pushes you straight to games.
    Posts frequent diary bonuses and codes
    Registering will expedite accessing your personal account, protect your private information, and simplify editing or deleting it.
    Additionally, players have the opportunity to win huge prizes, with fast and convenient withdrawal options available worldwide.
    Fair Go Casino offers a captivating experience with its wide range of popular games and diverse providers.
    This is a prepaid card that might suit some players better.
    That is a shame, but you won’t go short when it comes to finding other games to play.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/country-club-casino-ultimate-guide/

  8. Australia online casino 2026
    | Reply

    The live casino section is a standout feature, providing an immersive and authentic
    experience. You can find these games in the “Jackpots” section of the casino
    lobby. This package is a fantastic way to dive into the casino’s extensive game selection while boosting your playing
    funds and chances to win. SkyCrown Casino rolls out the
    red carpet for new players with a generous welcome bonus.

    With a license from the esteemed Curacao gaming authority, the
    casino ensures fair gaming practices and secure financial transactions, providing a trustworthy and transparent gambling experience.

    The casino actively accepts players from the Australia Skycrown Casino provides players in Australia with fast
    and secure ways to deposit and withdraw funds. Discover the
    exclusive Skycrown Casino bonus, designed to give new players a strong
    start. Choose whatever suits your current mood and enjoy not just the thrilling atmosphere of games, but also real money
    winnings!
    The online casino scene in Australia is growing fast, with countless sites offering pokies, bonuses, and big jackpots.
    The SkyCrown mobile app-style site delivers the same range of pokies and bonuses as
    the desktop version. It offers over 7,000 titles from leading providers and supports seamless gameplay across desktop and mobile devices, including Android and iOS applications.
    The Skycrown Casino catalogue includes 7,000+ games including pokies,
    table games, live casino, blackjack variants, roulette options,
    progressive jackpots By making a minimum deposit of
    $1,500, players become eligible for this bonus, resulting in a
    maximum bonus of $3,000 or 50% of the deposit amount.
    Players can enjoy a 10% cashback of up to $1,500 every Wednesday by
    playing live dealer games.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/royce-hotel-casino-a-comprehensive-guide/

  9. Australian online casinos fresh platforms
    | Reply

    They have five reel games, specialty games and three reel slots.

    They even have a Croco Picks selection which highlights
    the website’s preferred slots at PlayCroco online. Their games are organized using several categories, like jackpot
    pokies, classics, epic pokies and hot pokies.

    Redeem your free chip play for even more bonuses!
    The wagering requirements are at 30x for deposit match bonuses and 60x
    for no deposit bonuses, these are standard across the board.

    There are weekly deposit bonus code promos, daily free spins, slots max cash and a $777
    lucky draw. And this is only the beginning of the Aussie players journey to win real money.

    Playcroco seems great so far it has all my favourite games and many more and plenty of jackpots
    in some of the games looking like great potential for big wins I love the slot selection and
    bonuses. Just like having a place i can play by my self without interuptions,way to go croco Generous bonuses and heaps of free
    spins.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/vip-online-casinos-2023-online-casinos-for-vip-players/

  10. Australian pokies sites
    | Reply

    Enjoy opulent rooms, savor gourmet dining, marvel at the breathtaking fountains, and indulge
    in great shows, concerts, and other epic events in Las Vegas, NV.

    Discover the ultimate luxury, romance, and elegance at Bellagio Resort, an iconic destination on the Las Vegas Strip.
    Every 15 minutes to half an hour from about noon onward,
    the fountains perform choreographed dances to music, from Broadway songs to old favorites we all know and sing along to.

    Following the property’s ownership change in 2000, the gallery became a
    rotating exhibition space, hosting art collections loaned from museums.
    It opened along with the resort, originally to showcase art
    from Wynn’s private collection, as well as art owned
    by Mirage Resorts. In addition to the numerous works of art found throughout
    the public areas of the resort, the property also includes the Bellagio
    Gallery of Fine Art. In 2022, the resort introduced
    the Garden Table, a dining experience with seating alongside the conservatory
    attractions. It is located next to the hotel’s lobby and is open free to the public.
    The resort contains a 13,500 sq ft (1,250 m2) conservatory and botanical gardens.

    Find both color and flavor in excess at this restaurant
    that celebrates the simple pleasures of food and drinks.
    This colorful restaurant is exactly what you would expect from a French, circus-inspired, fine
    dining establishment. Spago is Wolfgang Puck’s flagship restaurant which claims to have put
    Bellagio Hotel Las Vegas on the map of culinary excellence.
    Overseen by celebrity chef Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Prime encourages Bellagio Hotel & Casino
    Resort guests to savor every moment of their meal.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/discover-the-thrilling-world-of-online-gambling/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.