My wife has begun to hyperventilate. Her eyes widen and she stares with horror at what our daughter is doing. I had only gradually become aware of her worsening sensation of dread. I follow her eyes and look down at Colleen on the floor.
How was I supposed to know? To my untrained eyes, it looked like Colleen was happy. She was smiling and laughing and talking with herself as any kid does when they’re making up games. She was merely playing with toys that the restaurant kept in a box for the children of parents waiting for a table.
I didn’t see it, but my wife had spotted it right away.
The dreaded flu strain from ’86 had infected the toys.
The Flu Strain: A History Lesson
Bear in mind that I’m not talking about any portion of the flu strain that actually harmed anyone or caused deaths in the elderly. No, that’s a serious topic – too serious for me. I’m not even talking about a flu from my lifetime: this flu originated in 1886, not 1986.
The year is unimportant. It could have been any year. In fact, it could have been any disease. If there were a residue that existed on any toy touched by our daughter, my wife could spot it. The sniffles from 76, dysentery from the 1500s, hemorrhoids from the Victorian era, ringworm from the Russian Revolution – my wife could spot them all. As soon as Colleen laid a hand on it, Lana’s disease antennae would activate.
How did she do it?
Biological Adaptation
I’m in awe of her gifts. There are times I feel she belongs at Professor Xavier’s mansion with other mutants of similar abilities:
“You may have adamantium claws, but I can spot botulism from five miles away.”
Yes, my wife is a professional flu spotter. I didn’t know it when I married her. It was one of her hidden talents, a superpower she shared only with those closest to her. Where her genetic mutation came from I’ll never know, but it does come in handy when our daughter picks up a toy that’s been handled by three thousand other children.
That One Toy
How that flu strain wound up on that particular toy in a box of toys at a restaurant in Branson, Missouri so many years later was beyond my ken. I’m sure it was an amazing journey, matched only by the biblical account of the Exodus from Egypt.
My wife’s magical ability to recognize and categorize diseases always astounded me. More importantly, I grabbed he toy away from my daughter before she shoved it in her mouth, and rubbed her hands clean with an antimicrobial wipe. The flu strain of ’86 had been disinfected.
Do you know anyone with similar superpowers? Do you have them yourself?
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